I was talking to an IRL blogger friend of mine the other day, who brought it to my attention that a certain musical genius is supposed to be making a comeback. Truly a man of influence unparalleled by any of his contemporaries save perhaps the late king of pop, Michael Jackson, or even the original king of rock himself, Elvis Presley, in recent years he has gained a cult following thanks to various YouTube clips. It was believed that this renaissance man, who is indescribable beyond words, had faded into obscurity following what many might consider a "one-hit wonder," but the decades-long interim has been nothing but kind to him, perhaps an opportunistic means of only sharpening his skill and finesse as a musician.
As a result of this surprising redemption...nay, one might say, a form of providence...this great man has stumbled upon a second chance. Through a felicitous, kindly chance of fate, which has shaken the very foundation of the youngest, pop-obsessed generation to its fickle, unsuspecting core, the world will be blessed with new, original compositions, further handiwork of one of the greatest musicians of our time...
Yeah. For real.
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Since we're on the topic of things my IRL blog buddy has brought up, one thing that comes to mind is his apparently constant need for pop, even in the middle of the night. Now I can understand this if you absolutely have to pull an all-nighter for work, or with friends, or for an overnight trip or something like that, but much less so when, as Nick DiPaolo once said, you just so happen to "keep the hours of a crack whore."
The way I see it, who the heck needs caffeine in their systems right before going to bed? Aren't there enough things keeping us up at night? Like work, family, women, death, taxes, women, possible computer viruses, the state of the economy, women, Sylvester Stallone's career, the fate of our nation, our interactions with Third World countries, women, that mole on your neck that may or may not be a lump, whether or not you'll get your laundry done tomorrow or have to wear that Mark McGuire shirt again even though it reeks of sweat and the steak from the other night, women, the vending machine that ate your change this morning, the "Check Engine" light in your car, the fact that our nation's youth are getting dumber and dumber every year, and possibly, just maybe, women?
I may have lost my point somewhere between chemo and the laundromat, but what I'm trying to say is that you should try to limit your sugar and caffeine intake to the morning hours, when you (hopefully) first wake up, and a little bit in the afternoon to keep you going. Since I only play a doctor on TV, I can't give you a recommended dose, but one or two cups at a time, spaced out around the day, are usually enough for me.
Beyond my own recommendations as that one guy from "Scrubs," Wikipedia says that if you take too much caffeine, you could potentially build up a tolerance to its stimulant and "sleep disruptor" effects. If that's the case, you'll end up crashing eventually once the caffeine is out of your system, and you'll be feeling the effects of this for the better part of a week.
Of course, in severe cases, you should seek a medical professional immediately. Failing that, you'll want to seek the medical advice of the crack whores on 5th and Main.
Note: The Brewsky is not licensed as a medical professional, and his advice should not be taken seriously. If you are suffering from the effects of caffeine overdose, you should seek medical help immediately. And if you go anywhere near 5th and Main...well, we medical professionals have broken traffic laws before to save our patients. Even if our route takes us by that wretched hive of scum and villainy known as 5th and Main.
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Before I go, I'll leave you with this piece of epic, unprecedented musical genius:
Hey, what does Rick think he's doing, letting his video push out like that? Who does he think he is? Man, this must be what it feels like to get Rick Roll'd.
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