Toppling the Food Pyramid

First of all, I'm curious about who on earth honestly likes breakfast pizza.

To be fair, things like eggs, bacon, and sausage are really good respectively.  And pizza is absolutely awesome on its own.  So how is it that you can put those two things together, and, as Jim Gaffigan once said, it's just "nasty crap"?

Yes, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it's seldom one we enjoy.  And for good reason.  Because when we think of a good, "healthy" breakfast, we seldom think of the official deities of the food pyramid--your fruits, veggies, and grains, if you will (assuming Michelle Obama hasn't done away with the pyramid altogether).  We think of pyramids made out of pancakes, lathered with butter and adorned with grease-covered meats cut straight from the hog's ass itself.

Yes, I do realize my choice of language is nausea fuel.  Why do you ask?

Breakfast, contrary to its firmly-entrenched perch at the start of our day, is the excrement of our three square meals.  Nowhere is this more apparent than in such choice "meals" as the breakfast pizza, which I had the unpleasant experience of being given this morning.  It was a boxed pizza which a buddy picked up from our local gas station.  One could see the grease stains on the box when we went to grab our slices, meaning it had all the nutritional value of regular pizza with none of the redeeming qualities, such as the sauce, the cheese, the pepperoni, and...really, that's about all I actually like about pizza.

Unfortunately, this sub-par class of food seems to have a Stalin-esque hold over any meals we might order before 11:00.  Think I'm wrong?  Then tell me, why can't you order a decent burger or fries at your McDonald's before 11:00?  (I could be wrong, considering Adam Sandler couldn't seem to get his Hot Cakes and Sausage after 10:30 or so.)  Why is it that our fast food restaurants are monopolized by such monstrosities as breakfast menus when you first wake up?  Why is it that I ended up having to smell the Egg McMuffin on the classmate sitting behind me for the better part of an hour?

If it makes you feel better, I haven't totally dismissed breakfast just yet.  I've taken to eating an apple every day when I first get up.  (That, and maybe a Dixie cup's worth of pop.  Hey, I gotta wake up somehow.)  If you're curious about that exercise routine of mine, it's been relegated to an "every-other-day" schedule.  Because, every other other day, it's a pain doing so much as waking up in the morning.  I don't know what's going to happen to my desire to exercise once I start going to work every day at 8 o'clock.

*Edit:  Amy Chua on the Colbert Report right now.  Should probably be watching that instead of typing this.

Note:  That link to the Adam Sandler video has a really bad cuss word in it.  As in, one of the big seven words you shouldn't...you clicked on it already, didn't you?  You unbelievable jackhammer doglicker.