The Third Wheel

So there I was, on a date at T.G.I. Fridays.  I'm finally getting over that whole fiasco with the last girl.  This one is someone I used to know from high school.  She's kind of lonely, just needs someone to talk to.  I'm more than happy to oblige.

I don't know what's going to happen.  She's nice and all, she's fun to talk with, she's not unattractive.  Who knows what could happen at the end of the night?  We're just having a fun night, the way two kids should.

Then this happens.



GTFO, whoever you are.  And since when is my date any of your business?  "Hey, bud, date's going great!"

Listen, first you barge in here, taking my date's seat.  And then you're all like, "Hey, your date would want you to eat this.  And this.  Hey, I've got an idea, let's look at the menu together!"

Listen, guy, if I get angry at my own mom whenever she so much as absent-mindedly suggests, "Hey, don't chicken nuggets sound great," why would I give one chicken's derriere what you would want me to eat for dinner?  Who do you think you are, some kinda chef or something?

And then, you're all like, "Show her you like new things."

The hell is that supposed to mean?  I mean, we used to go to high school together, but I barely know this chick.  I don't even think...of her...like that.  She's my freaking rebound girl.  Stuff like...sex...has barely even crossed my mind, and now you're trying to warn me, "Hey, you should try that thing you've never tried before."

And then let's not forget that time you decided to go to dinner with me.  As if that wasn't awkward enough, you ask me what I wanna get, and then you're like, "Don't answer, I know what we're gonna get."

You dick.  Listen, if that line didn't work with your actual girlfriend, it's definitely not gonna work with me.  Especially after you ruined my last date.  C'mon, I barely know you.

Oh, yeah, and have fun with that game show of yours.  How's that going anyway?

Note:  Sure, "My Secret Girlfriend" was terrible, but at least this guy wasn't in it.