"Crowd Control"

First of all, I can't believe it needs to be said in this country, in this day and age, that violence against others is a bad idea. 

Now, I'm sure many of you are saying, "Well, if we're in danger, and the other guy is a murderous psychopath, and we have to protect our homes or our lives or something, then violence is okay..."

Yes, in that hypothetical situation, violence is a necessary evil.  The key word, of course, being "evil."  We are supposed to use violence only as a last resort and only when absolutely, unquestionably necessary, and not just to make a point.

I don't know what it is about us hot-blooded Americans and that testosterone in our systems that seems to just screw up anything we put our minds to.  I don't know if it's something in the water, or our food, or if it's what we see on TV or the movies that makes us more prone to violence, but the fact of the matter is that we see violence as a one-size-fits-all solution to whatever problems we're facing, rather than the last resort it should be.

I think it needs to be said that we are lucky enough to be in America, where violence typically shouldn't be necessary.  It's true that we have gangbangers, rapists, murderers, and Juggalos, but these individuals are the exception rather than the rule.  The fact that we have a relatively efficient legal system with which to process these dangerous individuals is all the more reason for us to refrain from violence ourselves rather than stoop to the level of thugs or gangsters.

I stress again that these psychopaths are the exception rather than the rule.  It's true, there are many people in our day-to-day lives we have disagreements with.  They could be friends, co-workers, family, and, hypothetically, a protester who happens to be at your rally.  And these disagreements could involve things such as finances, property, relationships, or, speaking hypothetically, wearing a blonde wig and getting too close to your candidate while holding up a sign that basically says "Screw your candidate."

However, this does not mean that one should respond to these individuals, and deal with these disagreements, using violence.

Tensions are high in this country.  Campaigns lately have been more personality-driven than possibly ever before, with Obama himself as a prime example.  The latest candidates such as Palin or O'Connell haven't helped matters much in that regard.  However, the fact of the matter is that the country's disgust with its political institutions has become so severe that we now end up demonizing whoever's in charge.  It happened with Bush, and it's happening again with Obama and the Democratic party.  (It's happening literally with O'Connell...)

Like many people, I get my news from Comedy Central, America's most trusted source of talking poo and blind black white supremacists, so imagine my surprise during The Daily Show's Moment of Zen the other day when I saw Americans attacking...other Americans.  The reason?  Well, it either has something to do with their beliefs, or, as one of the attackers noted later, they thought she was a security risk, and pinned her to the ground.

Embedded below is a video of Rand Paul supporters at a rally as they try to do some crowd control.  (The video stretches out to the right side of my screen, otherwise this post would have been a lot shorter.)  Watch as they tackle the "security risk" to the ground, rip off her wig, and then proceed to stomp on her.



A few notes.  First of all, up until the 0:20 mark, our crowd control personnel haven't really done anything overtly "evil."  I mean, yes, they tackle her to the ground and all that, but if we are to believe their story, they were still under the assumption that she was trying to assault the supporters, if not Rand Paul himself.  In fact, you can hear them asking for police support (though you can't help but wonder if they were simply trying to cover up their bullying by asking for an adult...).

Also, you see that guy who steps in after the 0:20 mark, and puts his foot against her head to stomp her skull-first into the pavement?  Yeah, you see that guy?  Well, he's the county organizer for Paul's campaign.  Or, luckily, he was, seeing as how he was booted off the campaign following the incident.

Also, he wants an apology.  As in, the guy who stomped someone's head into the ground, wants an apology, from the individual who was on the receiving end of his foot upon said stomping.

Note:  The Brewsky is not amused.

However, the Brewsky will not resort to violence, since violence is morally reprehensible, but instead wishes for a civilized discussion on why it is wrong to ask for an apology from someone you've given a concussion to.

You Can Work Out While Watching TV!

I'm going to make this quick, since I'm trying to write something else at the moment.  Since I'm messing around on Google, though, I came across this article from a fellow writer who says that it's easier to work out while watching a baseball game or "Real Housewives of New Jersey" than it is to...not work out with the TV on.

Somehow I doubt that's the case.  In the case of America's national pasttime, it's easier just to fall asleep, and in the case of Housewives, it's easier just to throw one's TV out the window (too bad I'm on a second story).

In fact, for those of you who can't multi-task, I don't recommend exercising and watching TV at the same time.  Or, for that matter, working on a paper and surfing the Web at the same time.  It just doesn't work.

Note:  The Brewsky is funny, yes it's funny...I'm sorry, an enthusiastic contributor and yeah, you're real funny.  C'mon, man, just calm down.  No, you're just funny, Tommy.  It's just...calm down, Tommy, it's just the way you tell the story.  He doesn't mean any disrespect...oh, Tommy was joking.  Ha ha, Tommmy was...JESUS CHRIST, he just SHOT THE GUY!

A Knife to a Gunfight

As you can probably gather from my previous post, I've had a rather...trying weekend.  The anguish of my soul, the pangs of my heart, the trials of coming up with something remotely poetic to reflect my own inner turmoil.

It has been a very difficult weekend, coming face-to-face with the realization that, good a friend as she may be, she simply may not be my one and only, my soulmate, my kindred spirit, the light of my life...

It's a very difficult thing, facing something like that.  Where do I go from here?  Where do I go from her?  How do I move on from something so meaningful, how do I give it up, how do I throw away something so full of life and passion, that everything afterward only seems dead and fruitless?  Who else laughs at my every word, beams at my every gesture, finishes my every sentence?

I say the word "soulmate" knowing that, like so many other words, is constantly, casually tossed around by the soulless, homogenized, Hallmark-driven propagators of that similar, soulless, homogenized word called "love."  I know many of us are de-sensitized to this word, and that word, because those words have been robbed of all meaning.  Knowing all this, though, I also cannot think of any other words to describe her.  She is my soulmate.  She is my love.  All I can think about is her.  I cannot imagine life without her.

Don't get me wrong, though.  We have not thrown that away.  If anything, we have treasured our time together.  The cold, hard reality facing what I have presumed to blaspheme with such words as "soulmate" and "love" is that neither of us is truly ready to live those words.  Neither of us is ready to begin a relationship.  We--or perhaps she--or maybe it's just me--are simply not ready to give ourselves up to one another.  It's a tough pill to swallow--I'm choking on it at the moment--but it's simply the truth.

For those of you who have never gone through that, I do admit to feeling something along the lines of envy, jealousy.  For those of you who have never had your heart torn and broken, I can only wonder endlessly what that used to feel like.  I will not pretend that it is never better to feel that way, to be numb and impervious to this monstrous, damning, consuming word called "love."  For they say, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." 

If, however, the unthinkable mind behind those words was talking of my kind of love, the kind of infatuation which knows no bounds, that it is better to lose that, to give up...well, not feeling like crap...for that awesome and terrifying sort of burden between two people, all I have to say is one word:

Bullshit.

Coming off the heels of what one might call my little crisis of faith, I find myself in the notable predicament of trying to resume business as usual, which might be the toughest matter of all to attend to.  What could there possibly be going on that could distract me from that little, faith-shattering, heart-rending business of mine with the only woman I've ever loved...



What the hell is this?

For those of you who don't know who Christine O'Donnell is, she is a Biblical activist who, back in that innocent time known as the 90's, campaigned against masturbation  on MTV (back when MTV actually played music), and who confessed that she would have been willing to give up Anne Frank to Hitler (because God doesn't want us to lie).  So what has she done to make up for her disgusting comments...I mean, "youthful transgressions"?

Well, for one, she is the current Tea Party candidate in Delaware, who despite having a reputation as an anti-masturbation activist and a witch, was somehow not beaten in the primaries.

And, despite being a member of the Tea Party and a candidate for the U.S. Senate, she apparently doesn't understand that the Constitution expressly forbids the integration of church and state.  See also the embedded video above, during a debate at a law school, where she displays not only an alarming lack of knowledge concerning the Constitution, but also any knowledge on one of her key issues, namely the separation of church and state on which rested the crux of her argument.

So basically, she comes to a debate expecting to pontificate to an uninformed student body, and instead proceeds to exacerbate her already spiraling political career by showing her blatant anti-intellectualism in front of a disproportionately-informed student body of legal specialists.  (Or, as our good friend Indy might say, she brought a knife to a gunfight...)

Does anyone else remember Fred Thompson, and how he more or less sleepwalked through his own campaign back in 2007?

Oh, yeah, me neither.

Another Fluff Piece

There are many people in the dating scene these days who are blessed with things like charisma, wit, charm, the ability to sweep the opposite sex off their feet, or failing that, they at least have some sort of hot body that would attract the ladies at first glance.

And then you have guys like me, who missed the memo that something might have been a bit off in our approach to finding the right girl...

So I introduce this buddy of mine to my ex.  Now, when I say I "introduce" them, I don't mean I "fix them up."  What I mean is that I felt it appropriate to introduce one circle of friends to another.  Like a social hour.  Except a little bit dysfunctional.  You see, when one circle of friends is running on 4 hours of sleep and 5 hours of caffeine, and the other circle is just running on no sleep, there are bound to be some problems.  I mean, this guy doesn't really need caffeine, but the presence of it in his system has surely not helped matters at this point.

There's a stand-up routine where some comedian (I forget this particular performer's name) jokes about introducing one group of friends to another.  "First of all, they think I'm extremely wealthy.  And don't be surprised if I talk in a British accent."  In my rendition, I spend half the night explaining just why my buddy is yelling these battle cries, and why these battle cries are directed toward some fireworks in the distance.  ("He really, really likes pyrotechnics...")

Some fireworks in the distance.  Huh.  It's almost like I planned that.

She laughs.  "Yeah, I bet."

Some fireworks in the distance.  Never been one for big romantic gestures, but usually, in the movies, this is where the guy does something.  Makes something happen.  A kiss, all too quick, but still a kiss.  Or maybe some wine glasses tucked behind that tree.  (Champagne, anyone?)

When you're in the moment, there's never time to think about that.  Never enough time.  All the time in the world, is useless in the here and now.

Plus, you know, she's an "ex".  Those two letters, the worst two letters in the English language.  Worst swear I've ever used.

How do you let go?  How do you single, well-adjusted people let go of someone like that?

Our first class together, too busy, to find out what we should know about each other.  Our first dinners together, a meal out with some friends.  Again, too busy.  We walk around campus, we talk about our homework, our families, our home lives, our jobs, our friends, our...their...dating lives.

Our first kiss.  Our...last kiss.  Our first and last kiss.

It's a path that can never really be tread again.  Steps you can never repeat, steps you can never take back.  A dance, a tango, a ritual of sorts.  They call it "courting," a dance, a system that wouldn't be out of place in antiquity, in the halls of courts, in that stranger, nobler time before chivalry died a slow death, before lov...

They say we have love for our family, our country, our god, our fellow human beings.  Our friends.  But they never say you can love a friend, as opposed to..."love."  Love.  Love love love love love. 

We toss that word around, like a used sweater.  It gets worn, gets torn, you can see the holes.  It becomes a frayed, tattered mess of an excuse for what it was.  Then it gets tossed aside, and we move down the aisle, looking for another one to fill the void left by the last one.

What if I don't want a new one?  How do you let go?  How exactly do you let go?  Does it get easier, the more times you go through those steps, that tango?

I've never wanted another partner.  Never needed another partner.

You ask, "What does this 'dance' of yours mean?  What makes you and your girlfriend...oh, I'm sorry...ex-girlfriend of yours, so damn special?"

There are many people who will never have an answer for that question.  There are those who never really knew the answer in the first place. 

But there are others who can't put it in words.  And I will say that you cannot put that dance in words.  You cannot put into words the first few steps in that thing called love any easier than you can explain those last few steps for someone who's never done it before, never been through that before, never taken that special someone in his hands and treated her like she is the most precious thing in the world.

I'm in the car, long gone by now.  My buddy is with me.  The "girl," the "ex," is nowhere to be found.

"She's nice," he says.  "But I can see why..."

So what did I do wrong?  Oh fountain of all knowledge?

"There's no spark," he says.  "But I can tell that you were good friends."

The first step begins with that much, and ends with so little...

"You're also really sarcastic, dude."

Big surprise.

1 Star

You know, every once in a while, someone asks me what exactly is the point of my blog title.  (Well, okay, so no one's really said anything, but that's beside the point...)

And then I come across a video like this:



I get the feeling that I would exhaust my various four-letter words far faster than I could come up with new ones.  (Ironically, these paragons of patriotism would probably give me one star for swearing anyway, so I guess that all works out.)

I'd like to note that, although the video title gives the impression that these individuals are undergoing "guerilla" training, this is not the case.  Upon viewing the video, it becomes clear that the subjects are the last people you would bother calling "guerillas."  However, the posters of the video, one "astroturfwars", creates a video title that gives a false first impression of the video's actual content.  This object, this false first impression, is accomplished using a cursory knowledge of the Internet (i.e. the video title function) to give users of this information (the random person surfing the Web) an impression and opinion which does not take the facts contained within the video into account.

You see what I just did there?

One could argue that my analogy is invalid, because the posters of the video are misrepresenting factual information contained within the video (that is, the fact that our American Liberty team consists of Internet "guerillas," rather than camouflaged, gun-toting guerillas who will physically attack you in the dead of the night), while the lesson taught by the esteemed instructor within the video suggests a misuse of ratings systems for books, movies, blogs, etc., which is simply a matter of misrepresenting opinion...

Except, he goes on to gleefully admit, "I get on Amazon, I type in 'Liberal Books.'  I go through and click '1 Star, 1 Star, 1 Star.'  The flipside is, you go to a 'conservative,' 'libertarian,' whatever, go to their products and give them 5 stars.  Okay?  So, literally 80% of the books I put one star on, I don't read.  So that's how it works."

So rather than giving his opinion based on a careful examination of the works he is rating, or even so much as a cursory glance of the, oh, words and thoughts put on paper for people to read, he rates these books based on whether or not he likes the title, or the blurb on the back, or the reviews from us members of the "liberal" media.  He is literally judging a book by its cover.

Say it with me, folks...

The Brewsky is not amused.

No Money, No Problems

Many moons ago, I started this Blogger profile in order to make some extra cash.  I was hoping to supplement this extra cash with whatever money or cash prizes I would make while applying for scholarships and filling out surveys.  Also, I did some actual work for a living.

Have you ever tried filling out surveys?  Just answer a few questions about your habits as a consumer or what you do for your free-time, and you could earn up to $250 a week!  It's fast, easy, and...you'll be inundated with email after email for each new survey you have to fill out.

How is it that filling out stuff online for money is even more tedious than anything I've done for school or work?  Hell, I had to make signs out of glitter and construction paper (it was a college job) and that still wasn't as tedious as any of the stuff I've had to do online.  Granted, there was a supervisor talking me through it, but still...

You see, there's a little spot called ScholarshipPoints.com.  It lets you earn points which will go toward a scholarship drawing; the more points you earn, the better your chances are of winning.  All you have to do is join such reputed research groups as Zoom Panel or Harris Poll Online and fill out surveys for them, and you'll get a thousand points!

As experience has taught me, if you can't "Join" them on Facebook (which is no longer an option, since you can only "Like" a group anymore), then it's simply not worth it.  Of course, if anyone has experience with these particular groups I've mentioned, I challenge you to convince me otherwise (especially if you've managed to "Join" them on Facebook).

One site I've signed up for is MyView, which has semi-regularly been sending me emails for surveys I apparently need to fill out.  The only problem is that they tend to want information on your "consumer habits"; they ask questions ranging from how many household appliances you typically buy, to the last time you went on vacation.  Of course, if your broke ass doesn't have anything in the way of "consumer habits," and you fill out "N/A" for all of their preliminary questions, they tell you, "Sorry, but we are unable to find an appropriate survey for you."  So, no survey, no money.

For your information, I never buy household appliances, and the closest I ever come to a vacation is the Wal-Mart parking lot for about an hour at a time, whenever either my home or dorm life gets to be too much.  Hell, the only car I've ever had (and still drive to this day) is almost as old as I am.  Between that and the computer with which I am on the Internet right now, I haven't made a whole lot of big purchases.  Which means that, as far as researchers are concerned, I am useless and might as well not exist.  (I am starting to get back into the groove of at least renting movies or heading to the theater, if for no other reason than my Brewhaha reviews.)

Yes, I know you have to "spend money to make money," and I guess maybe my movie-related expenses and my "investments" (the car, the computer, maybe a home of my own eventually) might qualify.  But when was it that our researchers decided that you need an entertainment budget just to qualify for their surveys?  When was it that whoring out our wallets to consumerism became rewarded?  When did this happen, and how did I miss the memo?  (By the way, "RED" is awesome, and it beats "The Expendables" by a mile.)

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the discount aisle.  By the way, my editor?  You know, the guy who posts my notes and "bio" at the end?  Yeah, I've cut back his hours.

Note:  The Brewsky is an enthusiastic contributor and...wait, he did what?

The Weekend Update

I realize it's been a while since I've updated (about three days or so, which is still forever in Internet time), but since I have to be up bright and early tomorrow to help someone move, I thought I'd try something new and do a spur-of-the-moment post before I go to bed.  This post is what I like to call a quick "weekend update" on...well, stuff that needs updated.

First of all, I think many of us were surprised that Insane Clown Posse came out as Christians.  Of course, I doubt many people would be surprised to find out they are Christians, especially considering this is a Judeo-Christian nation anyway and they happen to be part of this Judeo-Christian nation (even though they may not be "practicing Christians").  Yes, apparently ICP is nothing more than the most elaborate attempt to witness to non-Christians in the history of mankind.  Critics call it a publicity stunt (if not a publicity nightmare), while fellow Juggalos call them "some dumbshits."  (Personally, though, I am looking forward to their new hit single on "fuckin' magnets, how do they work?")

The trapped miners in Chile have officially become "untrapped," thanks to the ingenuity and untiring efforts of rescue workers.  Accounts on the part of the rescued mine workers themselves paint a story of the trapped miners drinking polluted water, breaking into fist fights, and at some points deciding to eat themselves.*  Meanwhile, Jon Stewart uses the situation as comic fodder for a "Chile's Baby Back Ribs" joke.  Nice one.

Last, but not least, Oprah appeared on The Daily Show last night, offering studio audiences...oh, just watch.  And try not to feel bad about the twinge of jealousy you're probably feeling, much less on behalf of those of us who have "shit to do" that day.

*Yes, I realize they didn't actually allude to cannibalism per se.  The article in question gives the impression that their bodies were simply eating their own fat as a sort of survival mechanism.  So no, I highly doubt they were trying to decide who was going to get eaten first...

This Just In

You know how I keep complaining about the "Follow" button not working?  Well, now that's fixed, and I have just succeeded in following another blog.  So, yes, all is right with the world.  (Barring, of course, the stuff I've been complaining about on a regular basis...)

In case you're curious, my next Brewhaha review should be coming this Wednesday.  This one will be on "MacGruber."

Walmart: Save Money...But Not Paper!

Not too long ago, I ran out of paper for my printer, because I've been printing a lot of stuff off of my computer lately.  At first, I decided to go to my local library to print off this stuff (one of many free services offered by your local library, including books, newspapers, periodicals, long-distance systems with other libraries, and water and cookies for those who come in hungry.  Also the librarian's not bad-looking either...).

In a fit of inspiration, though, and upon realizing that I was only allowed to print off so many pages in one day (since I'm writing my doctorate on the evils of Insane Clown Posse, I need a lot of paper), I ended up going to Wal-Mart to buy a package of paper.  (Less than six dollars for six hundred sheets--you can't find a buy like that anywhere else!)

I proceeded to check out the movie section, since I'll need to write something for my Brewhaha blog eventually (check out my new Watchmen review!)  Of course, like most of America, I'm trying to save my money, so I headed to the self-checkout register with nothing more than the package of paper in my hand.

I scanned the paper, put it in the meticulously-weighted bagging area (which, thankfully, did not malfunction and ask me to "PLEASE CHECK YOUR ITEMS.").  I swiped my debit card because I've been doing a decent job of saving money for occasions such as this, and as I grabbed my bag, I waited for the receipt to come out.

And then I waited.  And then I waited a little bit longer.  And as I watched the receipt come out of the self-checkout machine, I went to grab it, but apparently it was still printing out the rest.  So I was forced to wait a little bit longer.

About twenty long seconds later, this was what finally came out:



WE VALUE YOUR OPINION!

WE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR SHOPPING
EXPERIENCE TODAY AT WAL-MART.

Please complete a survey about
today's store visit at:

http://www.survey.walmart.com

You will need to enter the
following online:

ID #:      7BHHJOH2W9S

IN RETURN FOR YOUR TIME YOU COULD
RECEIVE ONE OF FIVE $1000
WALMART SHOPPING CARDS

Must be 18 or older and a legal
resident of the 50 US or DC to
enter.  No purchase necessary to
enter or win.  To enter without
purchase and for complete official
rules visit
www.entry.survey.walmart.com.
Sweepstakes period ends on the date
shown in the official rules.  Survey
must be taken within TWO weeks
of today.

Esta encuesta tambien se encuentra
en espanol en la pagina de Internet

THANK YOU

--------------------------------------

Walmart
Save money.  Live better.
Self Checkout
Fast.  Fun.  Easy.

[Contact information omitted.  Just in case
Wal-Mart happens to be reading this.]

HP 600CT                     5.37
SUBTOTAL                    5.37
TAX 1        7.000%        0.38
TOTAL                          5.75
DEBIT TEND                  5.75

[Purchase and barcode information omitted. 
Even with all of this in mind, though, the
information about the survey nearly takes
up half of the receipt all by itself.  As if to
drive the point home, though, you'll never
guess what comes next, almost a form of
self-mockery on the store's part...]

# ITEMS SOLD: 1

[All this for one measly item. Oh, and
as if to taunt me, guess what they put
right at the bottom.]

Find us
on Facebook!
www.facebook.com/walmart

[That's right.  "Find us", in big bold letters. 
Yes, I imagine you get a lot of visitors.]

Above and Beyond the Call of Duty

OK, seriously, my "Follow" buttons have not been working since I got on this site.  I'm still following just the one blog, because I can't seem to follow anyone else.  I've tried the Help forums, which is fine, if you want to wait...say, a matter of months before anyone gets back to you, but otherwise, I can't get them to work.

Man, whatever.

-----------

In early 2008, twenty of our loyal soldiers found themselves ambushed by a group of insurgents, 150 strong, as they opened fire on our troops.  It's at this point I'd like to remind you of a certain video I put up, where our Marines are reduced to a crying wreck...

Sadly for America's enemies overseas, this was not the case for Sergeant J. Miller, a Green Beret and elite special forces operative who happened to put the "elite" and "force" in "elite special forces."  Caught in the hail of enemy gunfire, he ordered his group to fall back before jumping out in an attempt to lure the insurgents' fire away from his comrades, all while unleashing hell on the terrorist sums-o'-bitches.

The Epoch Times gives a breakdown of the skirmish, which took place in a remote mountain region in the Kunar Province of Afghanistan.  A routine combat operation (at least, as "routine" as a combat operation can get in the war on terror) went south as a group of Green Berets found themselves ambushed by Taliban operatives.  Their team leader, one Captain Robert Cusick, was wounded in the exchange, leaving Miller to assume command.  After ordering his teammates to fall back, he provided what can succinctly be described as a "diversion," drawing fire from approximately 100 terrorist sumbitches and giving his comrades a chance to escape.

Literally, a hundred-to-one odds.  What have you done lately to serve your country?

At some point in the exchange he was apparently struck, as would be expected when you are actively trying to draw enemy fire away from your comrades.  Even as he was shredded by enemy fire, though, he continued to throw grenades at the enemy and call out their positions to his comrades.  His wounds finally took their toll, though; out of the two dozen operatives on his team, he was the only one to die.  Two of his comrades managed to brave the enemy fire and were there with him during his final moments.

His parents were invited to Washington D.C. earlier this week, presumably so Obama could confirm whether or not that kind of badass runs in the blood.  His family and teammates were present at the October 6 ceremony at the White House.  In honor of their son's courageous actions, the President presented to his parents the Medal of Honor:

"It has been said that courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.  For Rob Miller, the testing point came nearly three years ago, deep in a snowy Afghan valley. But the courage he displayed that day reflects every virtue that defined his life."

His mother, speaking on behalf of the fallen hero, said, "When we learned about the details of what Robby had done to receive the Medal of Honor nomination, we weren't surprised..."

Oh, it has to run in the family...

A Fluff Piece

So I was just messing around on the Internet, looking for a nice fluff piece to blog about, when I read the following headline:

"2 Men Face Murder Trial in Beating Death of Mentally Ill, Homeless Man."

2 men.  2 MEN.  Two grown-ass men.  Beat a mentally ill, homeless guy.  To death.  To death.  They beat him to death.

The fuck?

If you're curious what their alibi is, the victim in question, Noel Lopez, was beaten to death at a Seattle construction site because he was flirting with some 15-year-old girl.  Which is fine if this 15-year-old girl happened to be a girlfriend of one of his attackers, but I suspect that isn't the case...

"They also plan to present evidence showing that one of the defendants, Steven Bauder, an aspiring wrestler nicknamed 'Enforcer,' was angry with Lopez for challenging him to a wrestling match."

Why do I somehow suspect alcohol was involved?  The article doesn't mention anything about alcohol, but somehow I suspect...

"If Bauder, 25, is convicted, prosecutors will seek to have his sentence enhanced by claiming he committed the murder as a member of a street gang, the Downtown Juggalos."

Seriously?  There's a Juggalo "gang" now?

For those of you who don't know what a Juggalo is, I envy you.  More to the point, though, Juggalos are the self-proclaimed fans of the rock/rap group known as the Insane Clown Posse, a bunch of white guys who dress in black-and-white clown makeup and swear a lot.  (That last sentence fragment, by the way, refers to both ICP and their fans...)

See Exhibit A below...



Featuring either "Insane," or "Clown," or "Posse."  Or maybe it's some Juggalos, seeing as how they're "all up in this bitch," but I don't really care.  If you're wondering why their lips don't match up with the rhyming, that's really not how ICP rolls anyway.  They don't give a shit.  They're like Tupac.  (Except, you know, white.  And somehow still alive...)

First of all, I think we can all agree that beating some mentally-handicapped guy to death is a bad thing to do.  In fact, it's downright horrible, and there's probably a special place in hell reserved for those who would even think of doing such a thing.  This is assuming, of course, that our perps aren't completely fucked-up in the heads themselves.

This brings me to my second point, which is that the Juggalos responsible for this heinous, nauseous, outright disgusting act of violence are not representative of ICP or their fans.  Assuming Bauder and his accomplice with the nice, normal-looking hair were put up to it by a gang, this hypothetical gang and the rest of the Juggalo fanbase are not one and the same.

Yes, Juggalos are some dumb shits, but they are not all like Bauder and Associates, in the same way that not all Germans are like Hitler, and not all black people are like Kanye.  And not all white people are like these guys...



Hmmm...I'm starting to see a certain creative direction here.

Note:  Following the publication of this story, the defendant revealed himself to be judge, jury, and executioner.  "We were trying to make a point, that you don't force yourself on someone and you don't treat people bad. We just wanted him to atone for his sins, but he took the coward's way out and died."

The Brewsky is not amused.

Teabagger...I mean, "TEABAGGER MELTDOWN!!!"

So here I was on the Internet, minding my own business, when...



For those of you who happen to have slow Internet connections, I'll give you a quick synopsis of the video:

"I can't stand socialism, and I can't stand Communism!  The only good Communist is a DEAD COMMUNIST!  (You want me to say anything more?  Thank you, sir!)"  *to passers-by*  "THE ONLY GOOD COMMUNIST IS A DEAD COMMUNIST!!  YEEAAAHHH!!  THE ONLY GOOD COMMUNIST IS A DEAD COMMUNIST!!"

Too short?  Okay.

"I am originally from Nicaragua, I ran away from Communism, I realize Communism does not work, socialism does not work, and the death of America will be socialized medicine."

"Sir!  If a veteran's unable to function, because of a war wound, we have charity hospitals!  We welcome them in New Orleans, we have charity hospitals for those who can't work.  But I myself am a veteran!  A United States Marine veteran, that fight for this country...BELIEVE IN FREEDOM!  And DEATH TO THE DAMN COMMIES!"

*addressing someone in the crowd*  "Are you a Commie?  ARE YOU A COMMIE!?  No?  Then stay alive!"

"Get out of here, Dead Commie, before I BEAT YOU WITH THIS FLAG AND THROW YOU INTO THE RIVER!"

"What did you do?  WHAT DID YOU DO!?  I FIGHT FOR THIS COUNTRY!  YOU PARASITE SOCIALIST!!"

"COMMUNIST LOUSE!  COMMUNIST COCKROACH!!"

Okay, so he lost his point about halfway through.  Unless, of course, his point is that we should hunt down and kill those Communist Cock COMMUNIST COCKROACHES!  With their COMMUNIST MEDICINE!!

In his defense, regardless of whether or not he actually is a Marine, and regardless of his national origin, I don't believe he's against free health care per se (as evidenced by his comments of the "charity" health clinics), but rather free health care that happens to be institutionalized and made mandator...

"COMMUNIST LOUSE!  COMMUNIST COCKROACH!!"

You can almost feel this apparent distaste of his for the socialization of America through the screen.  As you can feel his desperation as he tries to convince...

"THE ONLY GOOD COMMUNIST IS A DEAD COMMUNIST!!  YEEAAAHHHH!!  HEY!  HEY, HEY HEY!  LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!!  DEAD COMMUNIST!!  DEAD COMMUNIST!!  YEEEAAAHHHH!!!"

Okay, truce!  I call truce...

Note:  The opinions of The Brewsky are not those of Fox News or its affilia...seriously, at what point do you kids today start giving up sex to keep Stewart and Colbert on the air?  We at Fox News find that a little bit hard to believe.  One in ten viewers?  Really?  I mean...really?  It figures the liberal media would have you believe that...