Walmart: Save Money...But Not Paper!

Not too long ago, I ran out of paper for my printer, because I've been printing a lot of stuff off of my computer lately.  At first, I decided to go to my local library to print off this stuff (one of many free services offered by your local library, including books, newspapers, periodicals, long-distance systems with other libraries, and water and cookies for those who come in hungry.  Also the librarian's not bad-looking either...).

In a fit of inspiration, though, and upon realizing that I was only allowed to print off so many pages in one day (since I'm writing my doctorate on the evils of Insane Clown Posse, I need a lot of paper), I ended up going to Wal-Mart to buy a package of paper.  (Less than six dollars for six hundred sheets--you can't find a buy like that anywhere else!)

I proceeded to check out the movie section, since I'll need to write something for my Brewhaha blog eventually (check out my new Watchmen review!)  Of course, like most of America, I'm trying to save my money, so I headed to the self-checkout register with nothing more than the package of paper in my hand.

I scanned the paper, put it in the meticulously-weighted bagging area (which, thankfully, did not malfunction and ask me to "PLEASE CHECK YOUR ITEMS.").  I swiped my debit card because I've been doing a decent job of saving money for occasions such as this, and as I grabbed my bag, I waited for the receipt to come out.

And then I waited.  And then I waited a little bit longer.  And as I watched the receipt come out of the self-checkout machine, I went to grab it, but apparently it was still printing out the rest.  So I was forced to wait a little bit longer.

About twenty long seconds later, this was what finally came out:



WE VALUE YOUR OPINION!

WE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR SHOPPING
EXPERIENCE TODAY AT WAL-MART.

Please complete a survey about
today's store visit at:

http://www.survey.walmart.com

You will need to enter the
following online:

ID #:      7BHHJOH2W9S

IN RETURN FOR YOUR TIME YOU COULD
RECEIVE ONE OF FIVE $1000
WALMART SHOPPING CARDS

Must be 18 or older and a legal
resident of the 50 US or DC to
enter.  No purchase necessary to
enter or win.  To enter without
purchase and for complete official
rules visit
www.entry.survey.walmart.com.
Sweepstakes period ends on the date
shown in the official rules.  Survey
must be taken within TWO weeks
of today.

Esta encuesta tambien se encuentra
en espanol en la pagina de Internet

THANK YOU

--------------------------------------

Walmart
Save money.  Live better.
Self Checkout
Fast.  Fun.  Easy.

[Contact information omitted.  Just in case
Wal-Mart happens to be reading this.]

HP 600CT                     5.37
SUBTOTAL                    5.37
TAX 1        7.000%        0.38
TOTAL                          5.75
DEBIT TEND                  5.75

[Purchase and barcode information omitted. 
Even with all of this in mind, though, the
information about the survey nearly takes
up half of the receipt all by itself.  As if to
drive the point home, though, you'll never
guess what comes next, almost a form of
self-mockery on the store's part...]

# ITEMS SOLD: 1

[All this for one measly item. Oh, and
as if to taunt me, guess what they put
right at the bottom.]

Find us
on Facebook!
www.facebook.com/walmart

[That's right.  "Find us", in big bold letters. 
Yes, I imagine you get a lot of visitors.]